Gender affirmation play and marks scene

Recently I’ve been having a lot of fun playing with a gorgeous feminine submissive. For our first meeting F wanted to do gender play and role-play, with some other of my more familiar sadistic favourites mixed in too. I’ve always been wary of gender play, my own experience of gender has been convoluted and at times quite painful, so I tread very carefully and treat this type of play with the utmost respect.

Everything about F’s initial email suggested he had similar perspective on this as me, the fact he asked for “gender play, in particular playing as a female rather than a sissy” and specified he wanted to get into the headspace of believing that he was a “submissive girl” struck a chord. F wanted to become the sweet, slutty, submissive Amy. Not the more common “sissification”, or exploring stereotypes of femininity and no implications of anything humiliaing or degrading. F becoming a female was to be a positive experience for us both.*

I’ve since learned an excellent term for this type of positive gender play from the utterly fabulous Mistress Maya Odelle who refers to it as, “gender affirmation play”. A term which separates the type of play I enjoy from sissification or forced feminization. It also does not limit the exploration of gender to simply male-to-female, but allows for all permutations.

I’ve enjoyed gender affirmation play (without the great title) for years in sessions, including exploring female-to-male gender shifting, and different flavours of non-binary and gender queer. Unless it’s directly requested, I try to avoid gendered language of any kind in my sessions. Most scenes don’t engage specifically with gender at all, but I enjoy keeping that door open and the challenge and pleasure of discovering more gender neutral language.

With Amy, however, this gender play was taken to a whole new level. It was explicitly a large part of our session, rather than a more implicit understanding of queerness. I discovered, much to my surprise, that I really enjoyed applying Amy’s makeup. Selecting just the right colours to match her skin tone, enhancing features and keeping things flatteringly natural. I liked brushing her hair, and loved making her panties wet. I loved using words to reinforce Amy’s femininity, not a stereotype or a cliche of what female is, but creating space and encouraging a natural submissive girl to come out and play. I enjoyed exploring the subtleties of femininity, rather than the more commonly fetishised explicit extremes.

And it goes without saying I loved beating her, marking her cute little ass, making her orgasm repeatedly, then holding her close, petting her head and discussing everything and nothing.

Amy kindly wrote a few words below about her experience of our play together. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did!

Before I met Sir Claire I had been looking for an experienced, professional dominant to explore my submissive desires with. Although I have enjoyed playing with other pro-dommes, it never felt quite right.

I have met Sir Claire on a number of occasions now at the beautiful Peacock Parlour, and on each occasion Sir Claire really took the time to understand my desires and how I was feeling about submitting. Sir Claire is an incredibly intuitive dominant who was able to sense how my mind and body were reacting during the session and take me to a level of complete emotional release.

On our last meeting, I expressed a wish to feel feminine and marked during impact play. Sir Claire dressed me in a pretty outfit, did my make up and brushed my hair, all of which really aroused my senses. The impact play was amazing. Giving a submissive a beating is something that is easy to do but difficult to do well, and this was easily the best impact play that I’ve received. Sir Claire brought her favourite tools and used them with incredible skill and accuracy. Every stroke was pitched at just the right pain level and in just the right place and by the end I was in a complete state of submissive bliss. The aftercare also felt incredible: after forcing me to orgasm multiple times with a milking machine and wand, Sir Claire wrapped me in a soft blanket and held me. Feeling both nurtured and safe was the perfect comedown from all of the pain and pleasure that I had received.

I feel lucky to have met Sir Claire and also feel that I have developed a trust bond that will enable me to explore submission with Sir Claire at a deeper level going forwards. Although we have explored certain kinks in our sessions, I am also confident that Sir Claire has the experience to play in the context of many other kinks. I would totally recommend Sir Claire to anyone looking to session with a professional dominant.

*That’s not to say that sissification, forced feminization, or gender based humiliation and degredation scenes are not positive experiences in general, for many they are. There are plenty of excellent Dommes out there who explore this type of play with respect for it and the people playing with it. I personally just don’t tend to enjoy it.