Preparation for any session is vitally important; preparation of my mind and my body, as well as the physical space. After 6 years of offering professional domination sessions I have developed a ritual that works to get me into the right headspace whether for beatdowns, sensual domination or anything else.
It begins a day or two before when I read our correspondence and start letting thoughts about what I want to do with you float around in my head. I’m not focussing on it, just bringing it into my awareness in plenty of time for inspiration to come. This is also one reason I don’t offer many sessions per week, can you imagine all that floating around my head all the time, I’d go mad!
On the actual day I make sure I eat food at least an hour before we meet so that I have energy to beat you up, it’s physically demanding! I also stretch out and find any sore places in my body, areas I need to be careful around, and if necessary I take steps to support them.
The focussed prep starts an hour before. I always leave at least 1 hour regardless of what type of session I’m doing, even if it needs minimal set up, knowing I have that much time to deal with anything that arises is means I can always begin in a calm state of mind. I’ll start by reading our conversation again and considering in more detail what I want to do with you, how I will begin the beatdown, if here is anything specific I want to include. I’ll let these thoughts float around in my head as I shower, style my hair, select clothes that allow plenty of movement and also create the look/style I want for our beatdown session. Sometimes I want to go for a more traditional Dominatrix look with tight black jeans/shiny leggings and a leather vest top, other times I’m more interested in comfort and wear a pair of looser jeans and a t-shirt.
The boots I select to wear are important. Unless someone has put in a particular request, I’ll generally default to my Dr Martens; the black 21 hole if I’m feeling more formal, the blue shorter ones if I’m feeling more casual. If I want to go a bit soft on you I’ll wear one of Fly London or Blowfish boots, they’re both made of lovely soft leather. If I am feeling more hardcore I wear my heavy, steel toe-capped Grinder boots.
Next is setting up the room. Bringing out any toys I plan on using (or at least making sure I know where they are), setting up the lighting, heating, selecting the kind of music that will create the ambiance I want. I consider whether I want brutal industrial to beat along to, or soft classical to create a contrast, or sexy trip-hop if I’m planning on teasing you too.
It’s a misconception that I need to be angry to do a beatdown session, quite the contrary. I need to put whatever shit is in my head out of the way. If I’m feeling rough, sad, angry or anything else at all, these feelings have no place in sessions. My problems and emotions are mine to work through alone, with friends or with my therapist. They are never for me to work through on your body*. I cannot be a responsible Domme if I’m kicking the shit out of you thinking about someone else. You may be coming to see me to work through some issues in your life, and that’s totally fine, but it is not my place to work through mine. What would happen if I got to the end of the anger then got sad? What kind of aftercare could I offer you if I was all caught up in my own emotions?
So, rather than getting angry, I am either resolving or boxing away whatever is bothering me. In that sense sessions can be therapeutic for me, they force me to put aside whatever my mind is dwelling on and focus on something else. More often than not when I return to whatever problem I’ve put aside it looks much more manageable with some distance.
Usually this is all complete around 10 minutes before you arrive. I take this final time to meditate on our session, double check everything is as I want it, my head is clear and I am feeling in the right mental state do to this. Calm, confident, excited and energetic (sometimes caffeinated). But always excited because beatdowns are one of my favourite types of session. Beating people up just does something for me, something primal. Feeling flesh against flesh and pure power over someone. Just thinking about that gets me in the mood.
Then the doorbell rings…
* With the exception of a couple of occasions over the years where I have been angry and just wanted to beat the shit out of someone, and I have done this. But the bottom was fully aware that this was happening, he had previously offered his body for this reason, knew fully what he was letting himself in for, and didn’t expect anything from me afterwards. This is only for people I know well and trust to see me when I am vulnerable, because when I’m caught up in my emotions, I am vulnerable.